You are currently viewing Killswitch95 Humanizing Cream – UPDATED

Killswitch95 Humanizing Cream – UPDATED

Are you ugly?

Are you hairy?

Are you a failed, live-at-home-with-mom, basement dwelling, knuckle-dragging ape?

Well, folks, there’s hope!

Introducing: Killswitch95’s Humanizing Cream

Yes, folks, as hard as it is to believe, there is hope for you with this new, amazing cream from EWOT Products! Simply apply this cream three times daily and you can achieve REMARKABLE results.

EWOT worked side by side with Steven Sisk , who is Killswitch95, to develop this amazing product. The results are simply stunning:

Day 1: 3 Applications

Day 100: 300 Applications

Day 360: 1080 Applications

Day 720: 2,160 Applications

Day 1,460: 4,380 Applications

Yes, folks, the results are AMAZING! You too can look more human than you ever thought possible with EWOT’s Killswitch95’s Humanizing Cream! Get yours today and get on the road to humanity!


Results not typical. You should not expect these results. If you’re too far down the road you have no hope of these results. We actually are completely shocked we got him to this point. It took 250 tubs of this shit to get him here, a team of people to apply applications and more elbow grease than it took to build the Titanic.

UPDATE 10/7/17:

It’s been brought to my attention that this article was misrepresented by Demonic Angel of Death. 

First off, he put a price on it. We didn’t. Secondly, he says Steven Sisk was all bold and brave and posted it on his Facebook page, which he didn’t. Thirdly, according to him, Steven didn’t give a shit and talked smack about how we still didn’t really know who he was or where he lived.

OK, asshole – here you go:

Stephen Lee Sisk
109 Van Buren St
Gaffney, SC 29340
(864) 206-4072

Now, if you want Larry, Robert, Kim, Hazel, Stephanie or anybody else brought in to it, asshole, just let us know.

Next time, don’t fuck up our articles and keep your fucking mouth shut.


This Post Has 23 Comments


    Not able to track him. Was he banned? Wonder what alias hes using now.

  2. Thing 1

    Yeah, he was permabanned in December of last year. We haven’t forgotten about him though. (Obviously.)

  3. Gomez_Adams

    LMAO! Oh my! Now that’s funny as hell, man.

    Poor guy. I mean, really. He should have saved his money and bought one good guitar rather than three cheap ones. And that old Crate FW…damn it, man…that’s just bad.

    Last time I saw a Crate FW, a buddy of mine had bought it off of Ebay for 30 bucks and was using it as a community ash tray in his living room.

    I’m not kidding.

  4. Thing 1

    OH! So his guitar shit is shit? Is it that fucked up? How is it compared to yours? Did you go check out his YouTube videos? His playing flat out sucks dude. He’s not anywhere near your league. Shit, he’s not even playing the same sport!

    You’d probably get a kick out of it. Check it out:

  5. Gomez_Adams

    Ouch. That was painful.

    You can tell he’s a tabber. He looks up tab on the internet and puts his fingers where it says to rather than actually learning.

    It’s like a person that types with only their index fingers vs. someone that types properly using all 10. That’s why he’s not in my league at all.

    As far as his gear, yeah. It’s pretty bad. He’s nowhere near my neck of the woods in that regard either. My Black Beauty alone is worth around 3 times everything he has combined. At least.

  6. Thing 1

    About what I figured.

  7. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Wow, this calls for the new “Extra Strength” EWOT Humanizing cream. We gotta get back to the lab on this one!
    We got a serious case on our hands here 🙂

  8. Loli_Lives_Matter

    Knowing him I honestly do not think he cares…
    I mean you guys know the shit he used to post on the forums? Doesn’t seem like one to give a shit to me.

    Especially when he keeps his facebook/youtube more or less private with no real leads to his address.
    I bet he’d get a kick out of this if someone linked it to him.

  9. Loli_Lives_Matter

    I’m surprised he didn’t make the “Trolls” list on here, before he got banned be was pretty well known on the NA forums for being a worthless troll…

  10. Thing 1

    1. We don’t care if he cares. This is done for our entertainment and the entertainment of those he constantly victimized with his bullshit.

    2. He was one of many on the “to do” list. He got banned before we got to him, so it seemed sort of moot after that and we moved on to other people.

    That’s part of why we used him for this. It was simple, easy, and as you say should have been done long ago.

    Folks tend to not realize this site has only been around for a year. We didn’t go live until August of last year, so it was only a matter of a few months after we went live that he got permabanned.

    It literally comes down to: Too many assholes, too little time.

  11. PrinzEugen85

    Man, mothers lock up your daughters, right?

  12. Thing 1

    It’s a simple rule: Don’t be a fucking dick to others. If you are, we’re going to be a dick to you. Once we do that, learn your lesson and keep your fucking pie hole shut and change your ways.

    Or not. It’s totally up to you.

  13. Insurrectional_Leftist

    One thing is for sure the NA community has an ample supply of these guys. They grow in the fields like a Midwest corn crop ?

  14. Thing 1

    Yep. And this asshole is a real winner. You should see his fucking background report. The fucker has a criminal and traffic record longer than you fucking arm.

  15. Gomez_Adams

    So he has a criminal record as well? How typical.

  16. Thing 1

    It’s a little bit more than “A” criminal record:

    Steven Sisk Criminal Cover

  17. Gomez_Adams

    Holy cow! And I thought my brother’s was bad. Sheesh.

  18. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Man! ?

  19. Speedy_DePalma

    Who are those people you named at the bottom of the update?

  20. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Wow, what an appropriate name for that guy over there, “Demonic Angel”!

    Really fucked Stephen over in the back massively ! ?

  21. Thing 1

    Who are those people you named at the bottom of the update?

    People close to him personally. One is his father.

    Wow, what an appropriate name for that guy over there, “Demonic Angel”!
    Really fucked Stephen over in the back massively !

    You’re assuming of course that it’s not Steven himself. I’m not.

  22. Steven Sisk / Demonic_Angel_of_Death / Killswitch95

    That transition was priceless guys, I got a good laugh out of this!

  23. Thing 1

    You should. You’re a funny fucking guy to laugh at.

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