You are currently viewing Golden Joystick? We think not! You decide!

Golden Joystick? We think not! You decide!

Well, folks, here we go. In another move that can best be described as blatant, wanton denial, World of Tanks has actually come up with the mitigated gall to post this bullshit.

And once again, for those too lazy to click the link:

Yeah. That old chestnut. Can you BELIEVE this shit?

Now, for those of you who have been living in a cave or had your head so far up Wargaming’s ass you don’t know where they leave off and you begin, the last time World of Tanks actually won a Golden Joystick was 2013. That of course was back when the game was still worth a shit.

But every year they spam this shit all over their owned pages (Their own forum and site, Armored Patrol, Ritaskank’s, etc.) to try to get another award to somehow try to bolster their reputation, which in the gaming world right now ranks somewhere near the Jeffrey Dahmer Fan Club for Wayward Homicidal Maniacs level of excellence.

Well, we’ve got a better idea: How about a Golden Dildo Award? I mean, think about it: If they win the GDA, they can actually sit on it every time they decide to fuck us over.

What’s more, we can symbolically sit on it every single time we’re dumb enough to log on after a patch hoping beyond all hope that they’ve actually fixed ANYTHING, thus in effect applying a self inflicted “go fuck yourself”.

It’s a PERFECT award all the way around!

So, we’re throwing down a poll to decide which award Wargaming gets –


Or This:


[poll id=”2″]

This Post Has 19 Comments

  1. Gomez_Adams

    LMAO! I tell you, that was a coffee meets keyboard moment. I did not see that one coming.

  2. Thing 1

    Come on man. You should know better by now.

  3. Zeedox

    I see a trend developing…….

  4. Thing 1

    We need another poll: Trend or Movement, YOU DECIDE!

  5. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Golden Dildo for still screwed up Match Maker, broken Tier 8 Match Making, and a grand Sir Foch Incident for the year !! (with a dash for GB Grand Fail Battles on the side) That should give the the Dildo award for 2017 🙂

  6. PrinzEugen85

    Sir Foch incident, undeclared credit earning shaving to force people into premium, pay-to-win premiums that make older versions obsolete, the obliteration of tier 8 as the games “fun” tier. I could go on and on, and these are just cases in this year alone.

    I love this game, or rather what it was, but could anyone seriously vote this scandal riddled mess for the GJ?

  7. Gomez_Adams

    Not without somebody paying them, Prinz. That’s for sure.

  8. Gomez_Adams

    Apparently, somebody paid them. I just noticed the two votes for Golden Joystick.

  9. Thing 1

    Well I’ll be dipped in shit. I don’t fucking believe it.

  10. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Wow , someone didn’t clean their contact lenses, before putting them in! ?

  11. Thing 1

    5 bucks says the two “yes man” votes were employees.

  12. Icon_Charlie

    I had a “Senior” moment. The first picture I thought, “Damn that’s a rather cool picture of some futuristic Cybernetic Genitalia. That’s a pretty a awesome display of word expression I’ve seen of late… The first picture is WG being a Future Dick… and the Second Picture is WG as the Present Dick.

    Then the harsh cold hand of reality bitch slapped me across the face…

    “Man you young hooligans are just awful,.. so you young punks Get off my lawn”!!! Then waddles to his pouch swing muttering incoherently about things….

    Yea Having a Senior momment. 🙂

    Funny vid.

  13. Icon_Charlie

    Heh It’s a parody of myself being old and senile and what not 🙂

  14. Thing 1

    I can’t say a word. I’ve bitched twice at kids to get off my lawn and stop fucking up my knock out roses.

  15. brenticusmaximus

    World of tanks deserves punishment, not reward. They’ve been punishing their users time and time again; nerfing tanks people spent so much time ( and possibly $$$) to grind, creating chat bans for calling out bots who just sit in a corner and refuse to help,getting rid or cross chat with the enemy, becoming increasingly pc and protecting marxist snowflakes (some soviet residue is left over in their parent company wargaming, apparently), making the wrong player turn blue, and possibly banned, when an ally is the one ramming and hurting you, the forums which are ran by wot gatekeeper cunts, and last but not least…MM. HOLY,FUCK MM IS WORSE THAN EVER. WHEN YOU HAVE AN OVERALL OF 51.46% WIN RATE (NOT THAT GREAT, I KNOW) IN 25K GAMES, AND YOUR MONTHLY WIN RATE IS BECOMING SUB 40%, SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY GOING ON.I ACTUALLY RECORDED MY TEAM’S OVERALL SKILL AND WIN CHANCE FOR 60+ GAMES, AND IN OVER 70% OF MY GAMES, THE ENEMY TEAM WAS MUCH MORE STACKED AND HAD A BETTER WIN CHANCE. IF THAT’S NOT RIGGED, I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS.

  16. Thing 1


    And the only people left playing are the fucking trolls and assholes that ruined the game to begin with.

    They deserve each other.

  17. Gomez_Adams

    What a complete joke.

    What is so hysterical is that all the trolls of that game talk about “participation awards” and “safe places” as insults.

    And yet their so proud of their “well, it’s a crap game and it’s population is in the toilet, but a few people are still playing it so they haven’t shut it down yet” award.

    It’s laughable. Frankly, I don’t think that would be an award I would want. The, “I’m old, worn out and about to die and I’m on life support, so give me an award” award.

    The mind boggles.

  18. Thing 1


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