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Wargaming Golden Joystick Fail Award

Well folks, not much to talk about these days with the failed venture that was World of Tanks. But believe it or not, something extraordinary happened today:


And as it happens that someone saw the proud announcement on the launcher, wondered what it was all about, took a look at it, laughed their ass off and then of course immediately told us about it.

And so we looked at it, and we too laughed our asses off about it. Here is what our roving reporter spotted:


That’s…well…fucking incredible! I mean, how does a shit game that’s run off over half it’s player base, shut down most of its offices, laid off over 500 employees in North America alone and in general gone straight to hell in a hat box win a Golden Joystick?

Well, here it is folks! Here is what they’re so very proud of:

You have GOT to be fucking kidding me!

THAT is what you’re so proud of? That you haven’t quite gone bankrupt, shut the servers down, full belly up dead?

Fucking seriously?

But wait…there’s more!

Guess how long the “still playing” award has been a thing with Golden Joystick? Go on now, guess!

Two years. That’s it. Two fucking years. An award that has been around since 1983 for some reason couldn’t come up with a “still playing” award for 33 years.

And guess who the only company to win it is. Go on now, guess.

World of Tanks.

You know why?

They bought it. We’re not shitting, folks. They bought their own fucking award because they couldn’t win one anymore. They “donated” to the cause and in return were “given” their very own custom award since they’re too fucking pathetic to win an actual award on merit anymore. I mean really…all of a sudden, 33 years after you’ve been handing out awards, World of Tanks gets a “still playing” award and not, say, Age of Empires which is STILL being played since 1997, or World of Warcraft which is still going strong since 2004?

How fucking sad is that? Jesus wept…pull the plug on that shit game already. Have a little dignity. Let’s review World of Tanks timeline for Golden Joystick awards, shall we?

  • 2012: MMO Game of the Year
  • 2013: Best Online Game
  • 2014: Nothing
  • 2015: Nothing
  • 2016: Nothing
  • 2017: Still Playing
  • 2018: Still Playing

It’s like they’re proud of the fact they fucked up the best game running to the point they’re proud to still be alive. What a bunch of fucking morons. If they spent half the money and time NOT fucking up the game that they do buying their own pathetic fucking awards, they’d STILL be winning innovation awards, best online game awards, and other shit. You know…ACTUAL FUCKING AWARDS WORTH WINNING.

How douche bag can you get?

Well, with Wargaming, there’s simply no bottom. Every time we think it can’t get any more pathetic, they go out and one up it.

This Post Has 5 Comments

  1. Gomez_Adams

    That’s an award I’d rather not get…especially when it’s painfully obvious you bought it.

    There are far better games that have been around a whole lot longer than World of Tanks.

  2. Zeedox

    Golden joystick or golden dildo?

  3. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Simply incredible. I wonder what they bought it with? Knowing how they operate. My hand is smacking my forehead right now.

  4. Thing 1

    They bought it the old fashioned way: cash and sexual favors.

  5. Beorn_of_the_NorthernSea

    If it was with sexual favors, then Zeedox is right; Golden Dildo it is…

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