Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know it’s been a while. The reality is there hasn’t been jack shit to write about. Most everybody has quit the game, sold their accounts and moved on. Even the hard core trolls like Laceylace changed his name to Huey_Long and finally stopped pretending to be a girl. It’s definitely “end of days” type of shit, lately.
But folks, it seems that Wargaming’s shame and desperation knows no bounds. If you thought they were fucking disgusting already, well, sit your ass down and prepare to be blown away.
INTRODUCING WARGAMING INSURANCE
So what the fuck is this, you ask?
Well folks, remember years ago when we all started playing we all wondered why it seemed you always got punished when you lost? I mean, after all, you’re out there busting your ass, trying your best, doing decent damage, scouting, killing enemy tanks, you lose and you wind up earning less than some asshat bot on the other team that never left camp.
Then of course all the trolls came out of the woodwork saying, “It motivates you to win!”
No, it fucking doesn’t. It discouraged you from fucking playing because what’s the point? If some asshole makes more than you do for doing fuckall, what’s the point? Why try? Just bot your way along like everybody else does – no effort required.
And that’s exactly what happened: the game became simply inundated with bots running Cyber-Tank and Tank Leader.
Now, in the interest of full disclosure, Tank Leader no longer exist. Why you ask? Because there was absolutely nobody buying it anymore so they stopped developing it.
Gratuitous screen shot from dev:
So even the botters have thrown in the fucking towel on World of Tanks…but I digress…
Well, guess what, folks? Now with Wargaming Insurance, it literally DOES NOT MATTER if you win or lose.
If you buy Wargaming Insurance, you get rewarded as if you had won. That’s right, folks! You lose, you win! Just pay money and VOILA!!! Instant success!!! In fact, you actually get MORE reward for losing than you do winning if you buy these wonderful insurance packs.
What’s more, if you pile that on top of the pay boosters for XP and Credits, you can make a fucking fortune by failing! It’s the best pay-to-win scheme since Charles Ponzi started all his shit in 1920.
So where do you get them, you ask? Well, that’s the gag folks: you can only get them in game.
What happens is after you lose your ass off, a window will pop up offering you the chance to buy these wonderful policies. Just think: if you PAY MORE MONEY, YOU TOO CAN BE SUCCESSFUL!!!
I tell you, it’s like nobody is buying your fucking crack anymore so you offer them fucking heroine. I’ve honestly never seen anything this god damned pathetic in my life by ANYBODY.
Which brings us back to that age old question: Why play?
I mean, there’s no longer a reward for winning with this shit. In fact, you make a bit more if you lose…so what’s your motivation now?
Pride? Nah…nobody with any pride or self respect plays this piece of shit game anymore. Even the fucking lowlife botters have quit to the point it’s no longer profitable to make the botting software.
So what then?
Honestly. Why the fuck bother? Why even try when you literally no longer have to?
If you can answer that one, folks, you’re either a fucking genius beyond compare, or you’re such a failed and miserable loser that life no longer has any meaning or value to you.
World of Tanks Insurance: The last desperate gasp of a failed and miserable company. I knew they were a bunch of desperate lowlifes, but holy shit I didn’t see this coming – removing any and all motivation for playing and trying.