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An_Innocent_Bystander of SIMP: Shit talking, Crybaby, Potato Extraordinaire!

 FULL DISCLOSURE: This article originally supplied by Insurrectional Leftist has been reformatted and HEAVILY edited by Thing 1. Sometimes, you just have to say a bit more than was originally said.

It’s another beautiful day in the lovely land of World of Tanks with another lovely story of another crybaby unibrow-thinks-he’s-God’s-gift-to-the-game asshole. Once again, our offender is a member of SIMP.

Yeah, I know. Old news. A SIMP player acting a complete ass is status quo.

Our victim, oddly, is NOT Insurrectional Leftist this time. It’s An_Innocent_Bystander of SIMP. You see, he just proves the stereotype of most so-called “good” players who actually aren’t any good at all. They yolo in, spam gold rounds, have friends back them up, and get away with it about 6% more than any regular solo player does.

That’s really all there is to it. Don’t think so? Well, buckle up because here we go:

This game starts off like every other game any power clan is involved in – some shit talking with sexual connotations. (Apparently, they’re all so busy playing a free-to-play pixel tank game that none of them ever get laid, so sex is at the forefront of their minds.)

Boce, in the E5, asked at the very start if  “you worked his way or bought his way to that tank”. He never mentioned a name. He didn’t have to. An_Innocent_Bystander is a reroller that buys his way past any difficult tank grind and plays only those tank he’s knows are decent so he can protect his precious stats. (He’s got only 5 games in the Churchill 5, 2 games in the Churchill 7, never even sat in the Black Prince.)

So instantly An_Innocent_Asshole and his little sex-starved buddy EnasniThriller of WONKA (yet another asshole clan of sex starved perverts) start the shit talking:

Followed immediately by the sex talk:

Now, while all of this is going on, they’re of course not paying one damn bit of attention to the game. They know where they’re going. They go to the same place on that map every single time. It’s what power clan platoons do. It’s how they get their stats: Go to same place, spam same gold rounds, rinse, repeat.

So they’re pretty confident they’ll face roll this game and that will be that. It’s all good. Let’s trash talk a guy that knows we bought our shit not worked for it and then talk sex too…well…because we can’t get any so we’d might as well talk about it that way people will think we’re cool not the sex-starved, circle jerking, basement dwellers we are.

Sad Fact #1 – nobody’s buying it, guys. We all know this game is all you have in your failed and miserable lives.

Now, at this point we are LESS THAN ONE-AND-A-HALF MINUTES INTO THE GAME. It’s this way EVERY game with these idiots.

At this point (yes, already) An_Innocent_Bystander dies. Blown to bits. So what does he do? Well, he does what every other power clan asshole does: Blames the game and everybody else, specifically taking Leftist in his sites.

See? Same thing every time. Now, of note here is his statement “When I could be a complete shitter and let RNG do the work”.

Well, asshole, that’s exactly what you do. You and your buddies go in together spamming gold and you play the odds that RNG will be more on your side than theirs. About 8% to 10% of the time, it works. That’s all there is to it.

Let’s take a look at An_Innocent_Bystanders gaming prowess, shall we? Here he goes at the start:

Charging down front to the corner, out front, all alone, outrunning everybody to get to “his spot”. And then:

See? That’s really all there is to it.

When the RNG works in his favor, it’s “his skill”. When the RNG works in the other teams favor, it’s “this bullshit game and all you shitters” that made it happen.

So he and his apparent butt-buddy starts back in again like the little, sex-starved, crybaby bitches they are:

Now, never mind that Leftist was nowhere near them, they’re singling him out. (We all know it’s because this is NOT the first time SIMP has been proven to be complete fucktards on this site.)

Nice, eh? Now, here comes the payoff of it all:

If Leftist is a complete fuckup, what does that make your worthless asses?

He outperformed BOTH OF YOU.


This Post Has 30 Comments

  1. Gomez_Adams

    LOL! Nice one!

    I had something similar last week in Warships. I’m in my Atlanta having a pretty good game but my team is just losing their butts off. Some guy starts talking smack about everybody sucking, starts accusing me of running from the fight, that I’m doing nothing.

    End of the game of course, I’m number one on the team. Needless to say I never heard from them again.

  2. Thing 1

    Sounds very fucking familiar.

  3. Gomez_Adams

    Had another one just now. Guy in a Missouri on our team – he did great, but just got in too deep and died. Then, of course, he starts completely trashing everybody in the game.

    Now, the fact that we’re winning in a landslide is completely moot, of course. He’s still bitching.

    I just don’t get it. I never will.

  4. Thing 1

    That’s the way it always is with assholes. The world revolves around them. Any time they fuck up and get in too deep it’s always somebody else’s fault. It never occurs to them that him dying after kicking some serious ass (if that is in fact what he did) actually secured the win.

    He should be happy with that. BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Gotta fucking bitch. Asshole.

  5. Gomez_Adams

    He kicked ass alright. He was number one on the team. Here’s the game results:

  6. Thing 1

    I see that. That’s a complete fucking wipeout. Looks like the same bullshit you see in Tanks.

  7. Gomez_Adams

    It essentially is. Like tanks, it used to be rare. Now it’s pretty much the status quo.

  8. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Wow, thanks for putting this up guys.

    The normal role is for the heavies “usually”, on this map is to concentrate fire power, an damage absorption in that sector side of the map. But, it depends on what the conditions are when you look at the map. Most of the team pulled back toward the cap also.

    And when I saw SIMP go up in smoke like a flash pot! I was thinking, “What the hell were you doing?” They can count tanks as well as I can, apparently not.

    They should of tactically pulled back to positions even further back behind me, and we should have hit them as they came around the corridor, we would have weakened them much more, lived longer, etc

    You wold think people with clan wars map experience would or could see this?

    But that would be thinking for the good of the team and the game wouldn’t it? I was at the 1/2 point in the corridor behind them, I tried to put it in reverse to get out, but it was too late cause those guys died so fast !!

  9. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Ps love the write up illustrations in the screenshot, more of that in the future 🙂

  10. Thing 1

    Glad you liked it.

  11. Icon_Charlie

    Long ago Clans like SIMP, OTTER, VILLN, were looked up too but as time goes on it seems that the people who held the clans together with a Decorum are now gone and what is left is what you see happening and it is disappointing to see them fall from grace.

    For the record in game they have not been assholes with me in game… and hopefully there won’t be…

    Also for the record you KNOW by back ground. I am not your typical 12 year old whose hasn’t grown hair on their balls yet nor am I one of them fish head sucking, neanderthals who has no life… all they have is this game…

    I’m -that- guy, who by the grace of god, wound up doing work within the entertainment industry for a long… long time. I know how things work and once I solved the game pattern back in 2014 I stopped spending serious money into it.

    I’m retired… I made it.. I got out of the rat race mostly intact.. When I go online I want play shoot em up with tanks and hoping for a decent chance of having a fair game. But because of what I know and how things are set up such as the current issues of the recent clans knowing the additional information on where to set up… what bush to be in etc… this is not the case of having a “fair chance” of a game 60 or so percent of the time.

    So I ignore my win rate as the game I consider is broken. No serous gaming company Allows the rampant cheating that goes on… Just youtube it and there is 37000+ hits on cheat mods for WoT alone.

    I know as well as situations like this, the active seal clubbing, the horrible Match making is why there has been a 22% decline year over year in internet interest for 2016-2017 of this time period.

    Clans that are considered top tier should be held accountable for their actions for their clans mates as they are the ones people look up too. If they do nothing then the rest of the clans will do nothing.

    Hence the fall from grace of a game that was once a good game to play.

  12. Icon_Charlie

    Correction. It is not a decline of 22% of internet interest year to year as of this posting. IT IS 40% as of today’s posting.

  13. Gomez_Adams

    Well, at the end of the day there’s only so long people will put up with getting ripped off, completely bogus mechanics, and wholesale abuse.

    I made a post about it long ago on the forums: There is no value. At all. It’s not even fun anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. At the heart of it is the fact that they’ve completely ignored the same things people have complained about for years, and rather than come out and say, “Folks, it is what it is, we’re not going to change it.” and let people make up their own minds whether or not to stay, they create a good squad of trolls to insult everybody that dares say anything.

    Wargaming now has ZERO credibility in the gaming world. NOBODY talks about them anymore and haven’t for the last two years. NOBODY invites them to conferences anymore either, which is why they wind up in a tent down the street mooching off of Gencon’s crowd.

    And behind it all is their failed bully attitude.

    World of Tanks could have been the greatest game the world had ever seen. It certainly had a good start. Unfortunately, the idiots in charge started to believe that they could do no wrong and that the world owed them something.

    The downfall was inevitable.

  14. Gomez_Adams

    I just had a run in with a SIMP idiot named Reaverkhan in Warships. I was in my Tirpitz, was bottom tier and doing decently, but it was a pretty bad team.

    Of course, they die and start in on me. It’s all my fault. It’s my bad stats. It’s all on me that we lost. I’m horrible. Blah, blah, blah.

    Here’s a shot of some of the smack talk:

    SIMP talks smack

    And so here’s the final screen:

    SIMP sucks

    So I messaged him:

    SIMP hides

    Oddly, he had absolutely nothing to say. How unexpected.

  15. Thing 1

    Yep. They are ALL the fucking same. Funny how every SIMP player we come across is always at the fucking bottom talking shit about the guys that played better than they did.

  16. Insurrectional_Leftist

    SIMP… What can be said? They just keep speaking for themselves … (don’t they?) 😉

  17. General_FireBall

    I’m new to this site, a clan mate of mine found it and shared it with the rest of the clan. The timing he shared it was next to ironic as the majority of us that are left active in my WoT clan were starting to see the true face of Wargaming. This post is exactly what I see on a day to day basis of playing tanks. Even more so when I’, platooned up with my clan mate ZipperDown (the one who originally found this site for us inn S–A). I’ve had my run ins with top calnners and their oversized egos that compensate for their undersized dicks. It’s grown worse over the last two years and the match making is just getting worse. My buddy Zipper runs XVM for one purpose only, and that’s to prove how rigged MM actually is. Everytime we platoon or are just playing solo, the enemy team will always have anywhere from 5 to more unicum player, normally top ten clanner, that just steamroll our team. Spamming gold/premium rounds like they’re butter. Me and Zipper have also discovered that RNG favors those unicum players as we’ve bounced rounds off that that shouldn’t bounce, low roll shots that should kill them, ect. ect. I’ve lost any and all faith in this game being fixed but I still play due to the fact It’s the only game I can play with the computer I’m using and because I like the clan mates i play with. Other than that, I could care less when this game fails and goes down the shitter. And for those of you who go on the forums, just know Wargaming don’t run their own forums for the NA server, the top clanners do.

  18. Thing 1

    First off: Welcome aboard.

    Secondly, yeah. That’s pretty much what everybody but them sees. That’s why they’ve lost 48% of the player base the last 4 years.

    The biggest bullshit part of it all is that they’ve never done a single thing to curb it. It’s a shame too. This game started off with so much potential and they just flat fucking ruined it.

  19. Icon_Charlie

    For the Record. I have stated before I have had no problems with SIMP. I even saw one of them arguing the same points I bring up in channel.

    Does this mean that some of them are complete assholes? why of course. I think one of the reason I’m not bothered by them so much is that I am on one of the oldest clans in WoT. I am proud being in there, because they knew what kind of player I am.

    The other possible reason is this. My profile

    Group: Players
    Active Posts 618
    Profile Views 228
    Member Title First lieutenant
    Age Age Unknown
    Birthday Birthday Unknown
    Battles count 14033
    Profile in World of Tanks Icon_Charlie
    Male Male
    Somewhere tasting the Rainbow.
    Capital investments. Charity to the Developmentally Disabled. Hard Core knuckle grinding biker. And going pew pew pew with tanks. Professional diorama/modeler.
    40+ years within the entertainment industry.

    Please note the following. CAPITAL INVESTMENTS…. 40+ YEARS IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY. The profile as not changed since starting that game.

    I have also stated that I have lived a rough life. That choice was thrown at me and I made the best of it. I survived. I have seen things that 95% of the posters in forum have not. I find it very amusing that this site has been exposing some of these wannabe tough guys to light. Keep it up.

    The term “Dog Soldier” was a most suitable term in part of my life. It was only a certain action that happened which changed my path in life to a more favorable one. It was a “what if” moment.

    I like your site enough to tell you snippets of info myself. And of course the Info I’ve posted about WoT on this site does indeed ring a bit of truth… does it not?

    ONE more thing. I’m going to have to give you guys a little credit. Because of my illness and all of the meds I take I was hesitant in starting to create video content. It’s either pain or being dopey, or taking care of my Sweetie who is disabled or taking care of my 21 1/4 year old cat whom I so love dearly. There are a few stories I can say about me an my little buddy who commands my bed of course. It is at times very hard to focus with all of the drugs flowing in my veins, and sometimes forget things I should remember… So…

    I would like to post my video here on what I have 95% completed. It is pretty much a music video with text placed in documenting the battle. Much, much, harder than what is posted on Youtube on this subject.

    It’s at 591mb 720p but the Frame Rate is very high instead of the standard 24 – 30 frames per second.

    I would like to post it in here first because I think it is the right thing to do before making any final changes (such as possibly an intro and ending page)and comments given by the people here in this site.

    So how can I post my video on here.

    Yours truly,


  20. Thing 1

    Just make a user post. I’ll change your status to contributor and you can make a user post by following these directions:

    How to make a user post

  21. Gomez_Adams

    591 MB is actually a very, very small video. I’ve uploaded some Soundgarden Concert footage from my phone to Youtube in 1080p that were 5 GB each. The largest is actually 12 GB.

    You may wish to use a 1080 setting as 720, even at high frame rates, looks blurry when displayed on native 1080p monitors 23 inches and larger.

  22. Icon_Charlie

    Reply. Not sure where to put it on word press. I do not see any media button and as I dropped and dragged the video it has a maximum of 2 mb.

  23. Thing 1

    You don’t upload the video here, man. You upload it to YouTube on your own channel and then link it here. NOBODY does video hosting since YouTube. It’s a waste of resources.

    The only other alternative would be to upload it to a cloud service or file hosting site, send me a link to it, and I’ll download it and put it on our YouTube channel.

  24. Icon_Charlie

    Thanks that is what I thought but had to check

  25. EnasniThriller

    Hello, sex-starved pervert here 🙂 just want to say I appreciate the post, finally I get my time to shine! But you two great minds left out some details in this article, but I understand, you’re trying to impress the other great World of Tanks players who actually knew this website existed. But thanks to this sweet post I am no longer living on the streets playing WoT on my microwave. Thanks for the mention!

  26. Thing 1

    Two things:

    1. We’re not trying to impress anybody.

    2. We obviously impressed you enough to come here and make an even greater jackass of yourself.

  27. Gomez_Adams

    What’s the old saying? Better to be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.

  28. normtgnome

    SIMP, OTTER, VILLN have never been looked up to, We have all known that they are nothing but bought wargaming mouth pieces, They have all been caught cheating with illegal mods and nothing has happened to them, So if you look up to TRASH that’s all you are, But then kids these days have no morals in they cheat when they can and lie when they are caught.

  29. Thing 1

    I completely agree!

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