Folks, you all know about this by now, but we’ve been mulling it over and doing a bit of talking about it and we decided that we’re going to cover this shit.

The reason? Well, it’s just too fucking stupid NOT to cover it.

Now, as all of you know by now (unless you’ve been living in a fucking cave…or Steven Sisk’s basement in a gimp locker), Wargaming has put out a Black Friday “Special” called “The Feast”. You can read all about it here.

And of course our regularly scheduled screen shot for you lazy asses:

Yes, we added the HO LEE SHIT text, but folks, that is NOT a typo – $909.99

Let’s type that in a way that gives it the respect it deserves:

NINE HUNDRED AND NINE FUCKING DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE FUCKING CENTS!

For a fucking FREE TO PLAY pixel tank bundle.

What in the ever loving fuck?!?!

Folks, there are displays of desperation and then there are flat out last ditch cries for help. This definitely goes into the later category.

Now, we’ve been kicking this around for hours since it was revealed and we figured what we would do is go through the list and give our own opinions on what you actually get. This is, again, our take on it which in all likelihood you lazy asses wont agree 100% with, so feel free to weigh in on the comments at the bottom with your two cents…or 900 fucking dollars…give it a name.

Here we go:

Bundle Contents: 

• VIII 112 : Our take – not a bad tank. Some of us own it. We’d buy it again.
• III 43 M. Toldi III  : Shit tank best used for seal clubbing. Has no other use. No sale.
• VIII 8,8 cm Pak 43 Jagdtiger: A once great TD, has been power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• VIII 59-Patton: Decent tank. Most of us own it. We’d buy it again.
• IV AC 1 Sentinel : Worthless piece of shit. No sale.
• VI AC 4 Experimental : Worthless piece of shit. No sale.
• VIII AMX Canon d’assaut 105 : Not a bad TD but has HUGE weak spots. No sale.
• VIII AMX Chasseur de chars : As above. No sale.
• VIII AMX M4 mle. 49 : Not a bad tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII AMX M4 mle. 49 Liberté : As above. We’d buy it again.
• VII AT 15A : Fun Troll TD. We’d buy it again.
• III BT-SV : Another seal clubber good for nothing else. No sale.
• V Churchill III : A once great tank power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• VI Dicker Max : A once great TD power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• V Excelsior : A once great tank power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• VIII FCM 50 t : We’re split on this one. Ultimately, we’d buy it again.
• VII FV201 (A45) : A decent tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII FV4202 : As above. We’d buy it again.
• VI Heavy Tank No. VI : An Asian Tiger. Fuck that shit. No sale.
• VIII IS-6 : One of the few remaining reliable tanks in the game. We’d buy it again.
• VII Krupp-Steyr Waffenträger : A T7 TD with a better gun than the T8 JT88. We’d buy it again.
• VII KV-122 : Can’t believe we’re split on this one. I pulled executive privilege; We’d buy it again.
• II Light Mk. VIC : Worthless shit. No sale.
• VIII Lorraine 40 t : It’s not terrible. We’d buy it again.
• VIII Löwe : A Heavy that is now relegated to a TD roll. No sale.
• III LTP : We didn’t want this shit when they gave it to us. No sale.
• III M22 Locust : The ONLY low tier tank we like. We’d buy it again.
• III M3 Light : Complete shit. No sale.
• V M4 Improved : An “improved” tank not as good as the regular tank. No sale.
• VIII M46 Patton KR : We all like this tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII M4A1 Revalorisé : Not a bad tank. We’d buy it again.
• VI M4A3E8 Fury : We like this tank. We’d buy it again.
• VI M4A3E8 Thunderbolt VII : If you have the Fury, this thing is worthless. No sale.
• VII M56 Scorpion : A underwhelming, boring TD. No sale.
• V Matilda IV : Power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• V Matilda Black Prince : Same as above. No sale.
• VIII Panther mit 8,8 cm L/71 : We’re split on this one, but We’d buy it again.
• VII Panther/M10 : Complete shit. No sale.
• VIII Panzer 58 Mutz : We like it. We’d buy  it again.
• VIII Primo Victoria : Sheer douchebaggery. We didn’t buy it on principle alone. No sale.
• VI Pudel : A Polish Panther with a pea shooter. No sale.
• II Pz.Kpfw. II Ausf. D : Another shit seal clubber. No sale.
• V Pz.Kpfw. III Ausf. K : The regular Panzers are better. No sale.
• IV Pz.Kpfw. B2 740 (f) : More shit. No sale.
• III Pz.Kpfw. S35 739 (f) : Son of more shit. No sale.
• III Pz.Kpfw. T 15 : Grandson of more shit. No sale.
• V Pz.Kpfw. T 25 : A once fun as hell tank power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• V Ram II : As above. No sale.
• VIII Rheinmetall Skorpion G : A real troll machine. We’d buy it again.
• VI Škoda T 40 : What the T25 used to be. We’d buy it again.
• VIII STA-2 : We all love this tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII STG : Pure Russian bias. We’d buy it again.
• VIII STG Guard : Son of Pure Russian Bias. We’d buy it again.
• VI Strv m/42-57 Alt A.2 : Fun tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII Strv S1 : The door wedge of death. We’d buy it again.
• VI SU-100Y : We all got it for free, so why the hell would we buy it? No sale.
• VII SU-122-44 : Still a great TD after all this time. We’d buy it again.
• III T-127 : Not just no, but HELL no. No sale.
• IV T-28E with F-30 : A great gun with no armor. We’re split on this one. My executive privilege: No sale.
• VIII T-34-3 : A frustrating yet still fun tank. We’d buy it again.
• VI T-34-85M : Great fun and probably the best kept secret at T6. We’d buy it again.
• VIII T-44-100 : You either love or hate this tank, there is no in between. We love it. We’d buy it again.
• VIII T-54 first prototype : We like the T44 better. No sale.
• V T14 : Yet another old school premium power creeped into uselessness. No sale.
• II T1E6 : They’ve given this shit away three times and we instantly sold it all three times. No sale. And FUCK YOU.
• II T2 Light Tank : As above. Why are they putting shit they gave away nobody wanted in a sale item? No sale.
• VIII T26E4 SuperPershing : Even with the armor nerf, We’d buy it again.
• VIII T26E5 : It’s a Pershing with a different paint job. No sale.
• VIII T26E5 Patriot : It’s yet ANOTHER Pershing with another paint job. No sale.
• VIII T34 : THE definitive American Heavy Premium. We’d buy it again.
• II T7 Combat Car : Nope. More free shit we all sold. No sale.
• II Tetrarch : More seal clubbing bullshit we already have. No sale.
• VI Tiger 131 : A gimped out, gutted Tiger I lowered one tier. That doesn’t save it. No sale.
• VI TOG II* : Only good for a round of late night, drunken debauchery. We’d buy it again.
• V Turán III prototípus : This is cooler than the other side of the pillow. We’d buy it again.
• V Type 3 Chi-Nu Kai : Butt ugly as hell, it’s still a decent tank. We’d buy it again.
• II Type 97 Te-Ke : No. Just no. No sale.
• IV Valentine II : Another fun tank rendered obsolete by power creep. No sale.
• VII VK 45.03 : A really fun tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII WZ-111 : We all love this tank. We’d buy it again.
• VIII WZ-120-1G FT : A troll machine from hell. We’d buy it again.

So now that we have that, we sat back and really looked at the list. Here’s the breakdown:

• There are a total of 81 tanks in the bundle.
• Of those 81, 44 of them we have no use for. They’re complete shit and in all ways worthless to any of us.
• That leaves only 37 tanks we would actually buy again.
• Of those 37, we own on average 18 of them.

Now, we consider ourselves to be average World of Tank players. That means that for NINE HUNDRED AND NINE FUCKING DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE CENTS, we’re only going to get 19 tanks.

That comes to a cost of roughly 48 dollars per tank…which is in fact a ripoff because most of them are lower tier tanks that cost 30 dollars or less.

So that begs the question, “who the flying fuck is this sale for?”

It’s for nobody, that’s who. This is Wargaming trolling the shit out of the player base. Nobody is ever going to buy this shit. It was never really meant to sell at all. It was meant to say, “Oh…you want a deal, assholes? You want a fucking bargain? OK, shitheads, we’ll give you a bargain! We’ll give you a bargain YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY AFFORD!!! Muuuahahahahahahaha!”

That is EXACTLY what they’re doing.

It has to be.

If it isn’t, then it is proof positive that Wargaming have completely and totally lost it and are so fucking desperate that they doing the most ridiculous shit on earth to make a dollar.

There’s simply no other explanation for this bullshit at all.