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Black Friday Fucktardery – Wargaming Style!

Folks, you all know about this by now, but we’ve been mulling it over and doing a bit of talking about it and we decided that we’re going to cover this shit.

The reason? Well, it’s just too fucking stupid NOT to cover it.

Now, as all of you know by now (unless you’ve been living in a fucking cave…or Steven Sisk’s basement in a gimp locker), Wargaming has put out a Black Friday “Special” called “The Feast”. You can read all about it here.

And of course our regularly scheduled screen shot for you lazy asses:

Yes, we added the HO LEE SHIT text, but folks, that is NOT a typo – $909.99

Let’s type that in a way that gives it the respect it deserves:


For a fucking FREE TO PLAY pixel tank bundle.

What in the ever loving fuck?!?!

Folks, there are displays of desperation and then there are flat out last ditch cries for help. This definitely goes into the later category.

Now, we’ve been kicking this around for hours since it was revealed and we figured what we would do is go through the list and give our own opinions on what you actually get. This is, again, our take on it which in all likelihood you lazy asses wont agree 100% with, so feel free to weigh in on the comments at the bottom with your two cents…or 900 fucking dollars…give it a name.

Here we go:

Bundle Contents: 

So now that we have that, we sat back and really looked at the list. Here’s the breakdown:

  • There are a total of 81 tanks in the bundle.
  • Of those 81, 44 of them we have no use for. They’re complete shit and in all ways worthless to any of us.
  • That leaves only 37 tanks we would actually buy again.
  • Of those 37, we own on average 18 of them.

Now, we consider ourselves to be average World of Tank players. That means that for NINE HUNDRED AND NINE FUCKING DOLLARS AND NINETY-NINE CENTS, we’re only going to get 19 tanks.

That comes to a cost of roughly 48 dollars per tank…which is in fact a ripoff because most of them are lower tier tanks that cost 30 dollars or less.

So that begs the question, “who the flying fuck is this sale for?”

It’s for nobody, that’s who. This is Wargaming trolling the shit out of the player base. Nobody is ever going to buy this shit. It was never really meant to sell at all. It was meant to say, “Oh…you want a deal, assholes? You want a fucking bargain? OK, shitheads, we’ll give you a bargain! We’ll give you a bargain YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY AFFORD!!! Muuuahahahahahahaha!”

That is EXACTLY what they’re doing.

It has to be.

If it isn’t, then it is proof positive that Wargaming have completely and totally lost it and are so fucking desperate that they doing the most ridiculous shit on earth to make a dollar.

There’s simply no other explanation for this bullshit at all.

This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. KineticRhyme

    I don’t know what’s worse, this or the Black Edition tanks.
    I guess at least this one, you know no one has the capacity to buy this, unlike the black tanks.

  2. Zeedox

    Someone else mentioned this earlier but I forget where.
    “What if this IS just a marketing gimmick. wg knows very, very few players can afford that package but wg also realizes people may buy a single premium to feel better. Viola! Sale.”

    But then someone else said never ascribe to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

  3. Thing 1

    Nobody does a marketing gimmick that makes them look like complete fucking morons unless…

    oh wait. This IS Wargaming we’re talking about here.

    Fuckin’ A.

  4. PrinzEugen85

    Nice tank analysis, enjoyed the read.

  5. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Appropriately titled it didn’t they? Feast !!

    Only, “Wargaming Feasting on You” ?

    Someone on the NA commented, “They will make money, see cause 1% of 30K is 300 x 909 = approx 270,000 dollars. “

    I was like, really ? Since when was the NA server at 30K ?? They’ll be lucky if they get 12 people even buy that ?

  6. Thing 1

    Thing is, anybody that would ever spend that kind of money on the game has already spent it, so it’s not going to happen again.

    What they COULD have done rather than that stupid shit was make a “build your own” pack for 25% off. That would have sold like hotcakes.

    You pick any three tanks you want. They are totaled up at their regular price and then discounted 25% off the total cost.

    BOOM! You sell shit hand over fist by people getting packs of three tanks they don’t already have.

    Or, you know, you could make it simple and just give 25% off all tanks in game and premium.

    People would HURL money at your stupid ass hand over fist.

    But noooooooooooo…let’s make something so fucking ridiculous we become the laughing stock of the gaming world.

    Oh wait…they already are.

  7. Insurrectional_Leftist

    Who did this stuff? That’s what the hell I want to know? Who’s brain child was this?

    Seriously, “Who cooked this up?”

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