Every once in a while, Wargaming sends out a survey to allegedly find out what people think about their game. They obviously never bother looking at them because everybody has bitched about the same shit for years and not one single thing has ever been done to address any of it, but I digress…
This survey though, was different. It starts out innocently enough like they actually want to know about how you enjoy the game. That only last a few slides though before it takes a turn into the fucking Twilight Zone.
Seriously. This shit gets weird and it’s not even subtle in doing so. You start off in a sort of depressed state saying to yourself, “Why the fuck am I bothering with all of this again” and before long you’re looking around to see what the hell kind of rabbit hole you just fell into.
Half way through, I shit you not, Rod Serling was sitting right behind me. But then, we decided to have a bit of fun with it. So we fired up the VPN’s and took the survey 1,173 times.
We can’t wait to see what they think of the data they compile from our answers. But again, I digress…on with the survey!
Here it is in its entirety. On some slides, we’ve left a sample of our answers:
As mentioned, it starts out innocently enough. Apparently, this slide just wants you to tell them how addicted you are to the game.
Now they’re wanting to know how many of their live at home, never moved out, work for 20 dollar allowance mowing the lawn potato computers are vainly attempting to run their shitty optimized, outdated graphics engine.
This is apparently another one of those “how addicted are you” slides; I mean, shit man. If you’re playing it “at work and/or while studying” you’re in pretty fucking bad shape.
This one clearly goes towards advertising. For example, if enough people say “Logitech” they’ll try to strike up some sort of deal with Logitech to market their fucked up, troll fest, toxic, dead game with.
Another addiction slide, obviously. One begins to wonder at this point if they’re being sued by someone for the newly classified mental disorder of gaming addiction. It wouldn’t surprise us a bit that this is EXACTLY why they’re doing this survey: not because they want to, but because they’re being made to by a lawsuit.
This one takes me back to the soccer shit they did. They’re obviously fishing for some other stupid ass sport to hurl into the game. Tanks play baseball. Tanks play hockey. Tanks play curling. Oh for fucks sake…
Another “hurl a sport tanks play into the game” slide. ***eye roll***
Here’s where shit starts to get weird. Notice the tick box for Weapons? I mean, what the fuck? Fishing, Travel, History, Fun, WEAPONS! This one was a head scratcher.
It was at this point that a puff of smoke breezed in from over my left shoulder. Slooooowly I turned to see Rod Serling sitting there with that trademark smirk on his face. I asked, “What the fuck, Rod?” He just nodded towards the screen and winked and motioned with the cigarette hand to proceed.
It’s at this point that Rod took over the mouse. I mean, what in the fuck is this all about? Are they going to start hurling more blood and guts into the game? Are they considering making an FPS? (For the record, World of Tanks IS an FPS, so I don’t see the point.)
WHAT. THE. FUCK?! Now they want to know how your community feels? How the fuck is this a survey about how you feel about their tank game? Are they considering marketing a new line of firearms to your neck of the woods?
So now they’re asking your opinion on someone else’s opinion. Yeah. We’ve moved on into the Twilight Zone and Rod is driving.
Oh boy. Yeah. Now we’re moving on from guns to alcohol. In other words, they want to know how many fucking psychopaths they have playing their game.
What do you drink while playing? The other odd thing is, where the fuck did the Whiskey, Vodka, Tequila, Rum and Champagne go?
They’re having a go at the fast food now. So in other words, they want to know if you’re this guy:
Now they want to know where you shop. I’ll bet 100 bucks I ain’t got that they’ll use this to try to set up gaming cards with. But again, it’s far too late for that bullshit now.
Insurance? OK, this is fucked up. Guns, alcohol, now insurance? If this isn’t designed to figure out what their liability is over allowing their toxic ass game to spin out of control, then I don’t know what the fuck this is all about.
So who’s your favorite actor? Let me guess: the Steven Seagal thing from World of Warships didn’t go over anywhere near as well as they thought it would, so they’re going to see if there’s a cheap, out of work, has been actor or actress to hire on the cheap to bring into World of Tanks that people actually like. Yeah. Sound’s about right.
This one is self explanatory. They’re fishing for young tail. We obliged.
The last slide. Again, self explanatory.
So from me and my partner in crime Rod Serling, we’re out of here. Have a great day, folks and we hope you had as much fun with this ‘survey’ as we did!
LOL!
That was entertaining! On a serious note, you do make a valid point: that survey reads far more like a psychological litmus test than it does a company survey.
I’m willing to bet if they haven’t been sued already then they’re certainly preparing for it.
Haven’t some Russian donors been tied to the NRA?
Yep. That’s what that Marina Butina bitch was arrested for. She and her boyfriend lobbied the NRA exclusively. Even paid for them all to go to Russia and shit. She got 18 months in prison for it. Once she gets out, she’s getting a one way ticket to Moscow and she’s banned forever from the United States.
Frankly, one 45 caliber bullet would have done the job more effectively and much cheaper, the lying bitch.
“Frankly, one 45 caliber bullet would have done the job more effectively and much cheaper, the lying bitch”.
The old saying goes like this, “It takes hundreds of thousands of dollars and tens of years to deal with murderers in the United States but in China it only takes one month and a 50 cents to do the same”. Testicle Yoga was pretty damn funny. I’ll place that statement right next to the ones I use such as “Horizontal Mamba, Trouser Bowling, and the Milwaukee Vibrator.”… slang term for a Harley.
Find a girl who is willing to take the “slow ride”, hand her my handy dandy “pink” helmet and after a few hours of easy traveling you will get her all hot and bothered to do some bed sheet drag racing… heh…
The biker guys I used to hang around fucking hated me because of it. Kept telling them to have the gear to ride the Right Rear. Thunder! Thunder! Thunder Butt Ho!
I may not be Tall Dark And handsome. I was Short, Ugly, And Smart… The smart part is the reason why I’m still alive and/or not doing any prison time (to the eyes of the law and the IRS I’m a goood person). And banging like a horn dog right into old age.
Now this dirrrrrty old man (honestly I clean up reaal well when I hit the shower, my old lady tells me so 😉 ) can go to the USSR… also known as Russia Land and squeal with joy with all of the model quality bitches they have over there for CHEAP… BUT never ignore those brown baggers,… those Butt her faces… Tubby Tundra’s… or Ugly as Sin… because some of them can suck the chrome right off of a bumper and when they are through with you… both eyes would be in one socket, a shit eating grin will happen and an experience of a life time will be remembered.
Dog Must Hunt….
Sometimes it’s nice to be on meds and go down Memory Lane… Thanks Thing for the bullet statement and the hilarious survey comments you posted to make it happen..
Icon Charlie…. Fucking his way through the 21 Century. 🙂
Trouser Bowling.
LMMFAO!!!!
I’ve heard the phrase ‘pocket billiards’ but never ‘trouser bowling’.
LOL! Nice one!
Holy Cow. Hey, I didn’t get one of these surveys. They must really not give a shit what I think LOL. They probably already know cause I drop by that cess-pool chat in game one in a while. Yea, the Russian NRA connection went through my mind like a tons of bricks when I read that. Maybe, they are also doing Kremlin work for Putin too. Or they are trying to tap in some way into the NRA gun culture since Butina fucked up. Or, they have had so many gun threats in game again, maybe they are taking information the help them with identifying assholes who have been threatening people with guns etc? (maybe the FBI,, or someone has sued them, you’re right)
This stuff about what you watch etc. I would have put, “Watching news an politics daily laughing while Putin make’s Trump his little Bitch.
On the eating out I would have said, “I go to the woods with my gun, and kill something.” lol
Man, this Survey here is a real trip. [ Their desperate ] Maybe Victor’s brother is building another mansion again in California? ( they need extra money? ) I still feel like this information will change many different parties hands, they’ll make money off of it some way?
“Yea, the Russian NRA connection went through my mind like a tons of bricks when I read that. Maybe, they are also doing Kremlin work for Putin too. “
Dude! I hadn’t thought of that.
They spent 10’s of fucking millions of dollars on the NRA trying to manipulate the election and in the end they still lost the popular vote.
That would be the fucking PERFECT survey to find out how influential guns are to a pretty large sample size of Americans.
The only problem is that most the people left playing that shit game aren’t American at all.